I Don't Hate You

queernonymoose:

sassynanners:

tallerandblueonline:

jonjonweaver:

clitxvx:

mynamesjustanoose:

unobject:

“A Spanish mother has taken revenge on the man who raped her 13-year-old daughter at knifepoint by dousing him in petrol and setting him alight. He died of his injuries in hospital on Friday.

“…he passed his victim’s mother in the street and allegedly taunted her about the attack. He is said to have called out “How’s your daughter?”, before heading into a crowded bar.

Shortly after, the woman walked into the bar, poured a bottle of petrol over Soriano and lit a match. She watched as the flames engulfed him, before walking out.

The woman fled to Alicante, where she was arrested the same evening. When she appeared in court the next day in the town of Orihuela, she was cheered and clapped by a crowd, who shouted “Bravo!” and “Well done!”“

I dunno man, I’m not a doctor but from what I understand if it’s a legitimate fire the body has ways of shutting that whole thing down.

omfg @ everything

if it’s a legitimate fire the body has ways of shutting that whole thing down.

I’d have to reblog this just for that.

omg I was JUST talking about this

role model

see human bodies have sweat glands.

for when the body gets too hot.

ready2stand:

bubonickitten:

Oh wow. Someone finally admitted it: The GOP is a party of white people who don’t want to acknowledge or give up their white privilege.
And they don’t care about any marginalized people. They’re not even good at pretending they do.

Since I never believe anything that is on tumblr, he actually did say this. Here is the Washington Post article.

My partner thought this was a joke at first glance, too.
Poe’s Law is very much in effect regarding recent Republican proclamations.

ready2stand:

bubonickitten:

Oh wow. Someone finally admitted it: The GOP is a party of white people who don’t want to acknowledge or give up their white privilege.

And they don’t care about any marginalized people. They’re not even good at pretending they do.

Since I never believe anything that is on tumblr, he actually did say this. Here is the Washington Post article.

My partner thought this was a joke at first glance, too.

Poe’s Law is very much in effect regarding recent Republican proclamations.

samirathenighttimestoryteller:

cuteturret:

I’m in a process of developing a comprehensive resource for sex/gender terminology (the entirety of which I intend to later run past the community for feedback/critique/suggestions).

The acronyms AFAB and AMAB are currently in use to describe male/female assignment at birth.

In the first draft,…

Sorry, I tried answering, but ran out of space. Basically avoid using DSD (disorder of sexual development. Don’t use hermaphrodite either). Though medical professionals use it, it makes it sound that we ourselves are wrong and need immediate correction. Though in some cases, some intersex conditions have life threatening symptoms, usually treatment isn’t necessary and should be a choice later on.

But your friend is correct, not everyone undergoes surgery (not everyone has ambiguous genitalia. There are many different ways to be intersex and it isn’t always obvious on the outside). Some doctors due hormone therapy. I was put on estrogen when I was younger to help my body to respond more like how other females respond. I ended up hating it as it make things worse.  I most likely have CAH (congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia), I do know that my androgen levels like testosterone was very high, at least about three times higher than what women should have normally (I am getting tested again tomorrow to check and see what the levels our now and all that). 

I hope this helps. :)

Thanks for your time :) There isn’t much accessible/non-problematic language available pertaining intersex, but I hope to find/create some to use in my sex/gender resource. It’s meant to be comprehensive, like I said, and I absolutely don’t want to contribute to the erasure of intersex.

(not everyone has ambiguous genitalia. There are many different ways to be intersex and it isn’t always obvious on the outside)

I already have an adequate discussion in this resource of people like myself that were born with mixed physical traits but not ambiguous genitalia.

However, I think it might be important to have language to specifically describe the experience of people like yourself that received surgery/hormones/other medical intervention at an age when they could not give consent.

I just… don’t know what acronym to use.

I’m in the process of developing a comprehensive resource for sex/gender terminology (the entirety of which I intend to later run past the community for feedback/critique/suggestions).

The acronyms AFAB and AMAB are currently in use to describe male/female assignment at birth.

In the first draft, SAFAB and SAMAB were in use to describe the experiences of individuals upon which medical intervention is performed as part of male/female assignment. SAFAB/SAMAB would have stood for Surgically Assigned Male/Female At Birth.

However, my partner pointed out to me that medical intervention is not limited to surgery, it also includes many other practices.

As such, my first idea for terminology isn’t suitable. I was hoping that the intersex community could help me out with this: what’s a good acronym that describes the entirety of the experience of medical intervention performed on intersex individuals?

blackbutshining:

The first quote is from the movie Prometheus, the second is from Alice Draeger’s TED talk “Is Anatomy Destiny”.  And here’s the whole image as one thing:

This came out of some private asking and replying between myself and thecsph.

homosnacktualmafiaqilf:

1.

I want so badly to talk about this picture.

I do.

But when your first thought about it is “support women”, I can’t.

I can feel the words inching away from the raw wounds that even if they scar will always hurt.

Does that seem right to you?

2.

I actively flinch from the word feminist….

Read the whole thing.

onceyousayathing:

captainheartless:

nextstepcake:

An excellent (though rather long article) that does a good job of explaining how the call-out culture on tumblr (and elsewhere) is troubling:

Relevent excerpts below:

“Call out culture, a phenomenon that casual readers might not even notice, is to me, the most toxic aspect of blogging. Not because it is set to correct wrongs and engage in meaningful ways to actually enact change. No, call out culture is toxic because it has developed as a tool to legitimize aggression and rhetoric violence. Its intent, at the root, is seemingly positive. Constructive even. It works more or less like this: I say something ignorant. Perhaps I make a statement that can be constructed as bigoted or maybe “problematic”. A favorite word in call out culture, problematic is more often than not, used to mean “I didn’t like it” or alternatively, “I disagree with you”. But instead of saying you, the audience disagrees with me, you will call my statement “problematic”. And because we have established that we are at once consumers and producers of media content, you create a blog post or a tweet or a Facebook update “calling me out”. And more often than not, in your post, you tell your readers, other prosumers, to please join you in this call out. BECAUSE THIS IS A SERIOUS WRONG THAT NEEDS TO BE CORRECTED! Unbeknown to me, there are now ten posts in ten different blogs and social media platforms calling me a “BIGOT AND THE WORST PERSON EVER”. Each time, every one of these posts escalating in rhetoric and volume. Each new post trying to outperform the previous one in outrage, in anger, in righteousness. This performance of acrimony and reproach turns into the “pile on”. And I will have to apologize for what I said. At this point, since I am nervous and probably anxious because I am being called THE WORST PERSON EVER, my apology will not be stellar. I might dig a deeper hole even, because hey, I cannot properly articulate when I feel that I am under duress. I might, at this point, say something that is truly, really “problematic”, not just perceived as such, but, to put it in plain words, I might say something shitty. AND OMG at this point the “call out” will escalate out of proportion. Now I am not just THE WORST PERSON EVER but since we have established that I was “a known feminist blogger” (and if I wasn’t up to that moment, I am now because my name is all over the internet!), then, it will be known that I, on my own, HAVE RUINED FEMINISM FOR EVER. And I, alone, will be proof of ALL OF FEMINISM’S PAST FAILURES. FOR EVER.

Call out culture might, at times, dangerously resemble bullying. However, it is not exactly the same. It certainly shares its outcome, however, unlike bullying, call out culture is part of the performative aspect of blogging. Unlike bullying, a call out is intended for an audience.

And here’s the thing, on the surface, call outs are done “for good”. Of course shitty statements need to be challenged, nobody would deny that. Of course those who are hurt by shitty statements deserve to be recognized in their grief and deserve a sincere apology. But that’s not at the root of “call out culture”. The intent behind it, more often than not, is just to make the one initiating the call out feel good, more righteous, more indignant, a “better person”. In the end, the call out is not done for the benefit of a collective goal, it is done for entertainment and shocking value. Call outs are to blogging what Big Brother voting rounds are to reality TV: you have been found wanting and you are now expelled from the house. Because, of course, this is what is rarely mentioned, someone might be attempting to audition for your seat. Someone who thinks they are more righteous, better, more politically engaged than you.

And oh, how the audience loves these moments! They amplify them because at their root, they are perceived as “drama”, a word often used to described these situations. Someone will jump in and say it “There is so much drama going on with [person who blogs] right now!”. I find it telling that we use a word so deeply connected to performance, drama, to define the central repercussion of call out culture.

At its deepest, call out culture is unquestionably reductionist. It forces us to “take sides”, to pick a side and stick to it, or else, to be “called out” as traitors. Say I, as a Latina, an essential focus of my political identity, am also interested in Health Care rights, more specifically, in Mental Health issues. A blogger who focuses on Mental Health and disability rights made a bigoted statement about Latin@s. I generally love this blogger, but this one statement was really bigoted. Now, I will be forced to “pick a side”. I either stand with my fellow Latin@s (how could I not?) or I stand with the other Health Care activists who are not necessarily defending the shitty statement but trying to bring some much needed perspective into the whole affair. But no, I *must* pick a side and stick to it. Within the context of call out culture, I *must* show my allegiance to one cause and one cause only. Nuance and intersectionality be damned. Because, as we have established above, the person being called out is obviously “the worst person ever” and nothing they have ever said and nothing they will say from this point forward has any value whatsoever.

There is this taboo behind call out culture as well. Because those who have been at the receiving end of a call out and its most visible consequence, the pile-on, will not speak of what happened to them in the aftermath. They will silently hope that the “audience” moves on and forgets the whole affair, which has usually been painful and emotional. But to say something of the phenomenon might trigger a whole new round of abuse. It might initiate a new round of pile ons, and further call outs, and further re-enactment of outrage in a never ending cycle. And I suspect one of the reasons it is taboo to speak of what happened is because “call out culture” is perceived as being “owned” by the oppressed, in the sense that the people initiating these call outs will, of course, do so because “they are being oppressed” by the “problematic” statements. That, right there, obturates any possible discussion: who would deny that a person who is oppressed has the right to react to their oppression in an expeditious manner? Who will point at an oppressed person and say “you have no right to react to your oppression”? A “call out” is like the Godwin Law of Social Justice blogging, once it is initiated, there is no further discussion, engagement can only come in the form of some deep self flagellation and profuse apologies. And of course, I have seen some recurring names in regular and persistent call out episodes ALSO make truly shitty statements on unrelated occasions. Sometimes even bigoted and deeply prejudiced statements. And those will remain unchallenged because who would want to trigger a possible backlash? Thus, the taboo and silence behind the phenomenon. We call it “drama”, the prosumer audience amplifying it because hey, who doesn’t want to stand by the oppressed?! Who doesn’t want to be one of the good guys?!!

What is rarely pointed out is that a person can be at once oppressed and an abuser.

Human beings are complex creatures, not these receptacles of “good” OR “evil”. At once good in some aspects and gross in others. Simultaneously oppressed and oppressors. However, in this performative culture of blogging all of this subtlety is often obscured. You are either “one of the good guys” or “you are the worst person ever”. You play the role of “hero” or you play “the villain”. However, I must question this dichotomy because call outs, and the modus operandi behind them, the pile-on, can potentially kill people. The most virulent call outs can exacerbate existing PTSD. They can drive a person to severe episodes of anxiety and/ or depression, they can lead someone to feel isolated and suicidal. It is a toxic and destructive phenomenon, wherein blog post after blog post are made, each escalating in virulence. And Social Media amplifies the episode, with Tweets and Facebook status and comments left on the person’s blog and eventually emails. Private emails (more often than not anonymous) with further abuse and further diminishing and denigrating language, with invitations to kill yourself, to stop “polluting the world” with your presence If the blogger in question is queer, they will be purposefully misgendered; if they are non White, they will be de-racialized to erase their context and background; if they speak English as a second language (which might sometimes explain the reason why they used some icky words to begin with), that tidbit will be downplayed or just plain ignored; if they are working class or poor, their class struggles deliberately obscured or just completely obliterated (even in cases when the very same class and educational background could explain the originally “problematic” statement that triggered the call out to begin with). And again, I must insist on the insidious nature of this culture: who would dare say a thing about it when it is supposedly done against oppression? So the recipient of a call out is isolated (remember what I mentioned about being forced to take sides?), told by a crowd of prosumers who are fascinated by this “drama” that they are worthless, not even deserving of the air they breath.

And we, in the blogging community, cheer and applaud this behavior. Moreover, we actively take part in it. And if not, we remain silent because well, AGAIN, who would speak up against “fighting oppression”?”

Fourth Act: in which there is no Deus ex Machina but the ultimate artifice is revealed and we all lose but the kyriarchy, as usual, remains triumphant over all of us

No. Really. We all lose. Because all of this performance and the cycles of abuse and the outdoing each other for entertainment get us nowhere. They are distractions and, more often than not, they obscure most structural analysis. And what is worse, they end up silencing valuable and meaningful people who burn out from participating in this, our culture.

I do not write because I have hopes of changing the world at large. I write to overcome loneliness. Yours, mine, ours. I put out these words every day hoping that we will see each other for whom we truly are: difficult, fucked up, monstrous, generous, brilliant, capable of immense good and capable of unspeakable evil. I write because I know that I am inhabited by all of these potentials. And I know that so are you. Each and every one of you is capable of all the goodness and of all the awfulness. But words are all I have to exorcise the possible hurtful outcomes. My words which have always been actions, a call to act. A DEMAND to action. However, just like each and everyone of you, I am not the one pulling the strings of this performance. Or, if you prefer, neither of us is the Puppet Master. Instead, we are part of a bigger, much bigger stage where we are set to play our parts, not just as bloggers but as human beings. But we do have some degree of control. We can choose the part we will play today, we can pick the words that we will say and the actions that those words will entail. And that’s what lays at the bottom of my blogging and writing: a desire to unmask the ultimate artifice, or, better said, I write to unmask how the kyriarchy makes us active and necessary participants, how each and every one of us is a necessarily complicit actor to perpetuate it.

Be it patriarchal heteronormativity, or racism or anti queer hatred, or transphobia, xenophobia, misogyny, sexism, ageism, bigotry, fatphobia, misandry, or any of the hundreds of possible prejudices: all of them are potentially within me. And within you. Because we cannot escape the structures we are part of, we cannot avoid being at once oppressed and oppressors. But it is not all doom and gloom, there IS a way out of it and it is by remaining actively aware of these potentials within us. By being conscious of them. However, I contend that this performative culture that has taken hold of us, be it in blogging or participating in Social Media at large has also obscured this awareness of our potentials. Because we are supposedly “the good guys”. We are the ones “fighting oppression!” So common wisdom dictates that we are “the heros!” in this narrative and the villains, the “bad guys”, are the ones who stand against us. And we buy into this narrative because it is comforting, it is reassuring, it makes us feel good about ourselves. However, the perversity of it is not readily apparent: while we position ourselves as “the good guys”, we necessarily need an antagonist, someone who needs to be positioned as “the villain”. And herein lays the perversity: more often than not, this same oppressive structure places our antagonist within Feminism and/or Social Justice. And you know why I think we are constantly positioned against each other? Because we all care. In our own ways, sometimes completely unaware of our potential for prejudice but we do care, and we respond and we engage, in a never ending cycle that is simultaneously our collective strength and the root of some of the most abusive and vile aspects of our culture.

Before I exit for today, I would like to leave one final thought, which is neither a demand, nor a plead but a reflection: I would like to believe that amidst all of these cries for performances of grief, amidst the intra community abuses and the dilution of the bigger pictures in the name of a constant requirement to outperform each other as a form of entertainment, we can do better. We need to be the change we demand in others. We cannot claim to be against these injustices while, at the same time, we either unknowingly perpetuate them or remain silent while others do so. Change, after all, can only start from within, and, without a deep examination of how our own actions are part of this, there will not be any significant shift. There will only be more seasons of reality TV blogging and media engagements. And there is nothing revolutionary or radical in Reality TV by now, there is just voyeurism and inane navel gazing.

read the full article here: http://tigerbeatdown.com/2011/10/17/come-one-come-all-bloggers-bear-it-all-out-feminist-and-social-justice-blogging-as-performance-and-bloodshed/

I’m shocked I hadn’t read that before. Definitely a good piece.

This goes along with a post I made recently, about the abuse inherent in many “callout” situations, and the fact that one cannot claim to be enacting social change when they are participating in bullying or violence.

I don’t think that the idea of calling people out is bad. I think that it’s really important that it to comes to peoples’ attention the ways in which privilege and oppression operate in their own lives and the lives of others. This is kind of the basis for change.

But I’ve also seen many cases in which people who are not awful people were harmed by this culture. (I cannot lie, I am hoping that most current Republican public office candidates will have their careers irrevocably harmed by that same culture.) People have been verbally abused and sometimes seriously threatened for an ignorant statement.

Creating a culture of harm to counter a culture of harm just spreads harm.

Anyway. Stuff that I found relevant to my thoughts.

“Once you start to speak, people will yell at you. They will interrupt you, put you down and suggest it’s personal. And the world won’t end. And the speaking will get easier and easier. And you will find you have fallen in love with your own vision, which you may never have realized you had. And you will lose some friends and lovers, and realize you don’t miss them. And new ones will find you and cherish you. And you will still flirt and paint your nails, dress up and party, because, as I think Emma Goldman said, “If I can’t dance, I don’t want to be part of your revolution.” And at last you’ll know with surpassing certainty that only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth. And that is not speaking.”

Audre Lorde

If you’re a feminist who understands the (apparently not) radical concept that women can have penises and men can have vaginas (and that there are people with either or both of those who may very well identify as neither a man nor a woman), would you mind reblogging this? I could really use a little faith in humanity being restored right about now.

I actually hesitate to identify as a feminist due to how many feminists do not understand this, among other reasons.

metapianycist:

[A complicated Venn diagram depicting multiple overlapping categories of features regarded as constituting “biological sex,” meant to illustrate that sex is not nearly as binary as many people like to think.]

[Captioned “Sex: It’s, like, totes binary.”]

metapianycist:

[A complicated Venn diagram depicting multiple overlapping categories of features regarded as constituting “biological sex,” meant to illustrate that sex is not nearly as binary as many people like to think.]

[Captioned “Sex: It’s, like, totes binary.”]